The Birds and The Bees

As parents, we all want to keep our kids sweet and innocent as long as possible. The reality is, it doesn't last forever. This sweet girl has a lot to learn about babies and where they come from. If you don't know already, she is copying what she saw the home birth midwife do with her new baby brother after he was born. She is weighing her stuffed bear with a hanging scale. Even though she was able to witness the birth of her brother, this little 4 year old girl will need to know about the birds and the bees, and the choices she will make and have as a young woman. It's cute and funny to tell young children babies come from a special delivery from a stork but it won't equip them for the real world or help them make good decisions when they are older. We want to teach our kids about the important things about a committed relationship and we want them to learn all about what really takes place when babies are made and born.  This is a very private and intimate topic for families for sure. We realize what is taught depends on the morals and values of the family and we also know parents only tell their kids what they are comfortable with and at the age appropriate time they believe is right. It might be too late if a teen girl comes to her parents to tell them she is pregnant, wonders how on earth that happened and why didn't anyone tell her. For the record, there is no wrong or right way to do this. I'm just here to share what worked in our family. This is very much a personal choice.

As a doula, childbirth is a regular topic in our house. It's like normal everyday life; it's also something we celebrate. Our philosophy is "knowledge is power" and if our kids ask questions about puberty, the reproductive system, sex, and birth control, we will be completely honest with them.  Open communication is important to us. Our kids have done a lot of asking. We've always made an effort to create an environment in our home where our kids can ask us anything. We also taught them to always ask lots questions about topics that are new to them and we taught them there is no such thing as a dumb question. Phil and I choose to inform and educate our kids so that there is no surprise information they learn from the school playground. Real info verses playground info? It's not even a toss up.

My husband and I taught our girls about where babies came from starting at ages of 3 and 5 because they started to ask questions when I was pregnant with our son. They learned about human anatomy, how the baby grows, and where the baby will be born from. At this age, they thought it was all very cool, exciting, and matter of fact.  They weren't in shock and they didn't think of all the details of childbirth as gross, funny, or embarrassing like tweens start to do. At ages 6 and 8, our girls learned about the changes of the body during puberty, they learned about the monthly cycle of the female body, and they learned that a baby will grow when a sperm and egg join. They learned these things because they asked simple questions like "How did the baby get in your belly?"  "How do the sperm and egg join?" "How can the baby breathe in there?" "How do babies eat when they are in the belly?" These questions make for an interesting conversation at the dinner table.

As their mom, it's a privilege to me to be the first to tell our kids about how they were created. They find it so fascinating and amazing. I love telling them about the intricate and delicate stages they went through as they were woven together in my womb. In the end, our kids have come to appreciate and treasure the miracle of life and look forward to when they get to experience bringing a baby into this world and become new parents!